I remember it was as a 13-year-old that I really began to have a desire to be USED by God. I remember standing at the front of the church with my best friend singing, ♪If you can use anything Lord, you can use me!♪ I remember all the urges from preachers to the young people at conferences to come to the alter and pray to be used of God, AND I went up every time!
Jesus use me! I was so timid and quiet back then, most people didn't even know existed, BUT I had that desire in me! I was just a child, but I would think, to be ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE that God uses, that would be soooo AMAZING! And in my mind I had this sort of glamorous perception of what it would be like to be USED BY GOD!
However, LAST night I was bringing home the family I had brought to church and the little girl had fallen asleep on the drive home. So I'm helping her mom carry her in to the house when I realized that she had wet her pants while sleeping in the back seat of my car....NOW MY SLEEVE WAS WET...aaaaaaaahhhhh....
And as I'm just driving along with my wet sleeve hanging out the window to dry, I thought,
THERE'S REALLY NOTHING GLAMOROUS ABOUT BEING USED BY GOD!!!
What a misconception I had in my mind as a 13-year-old of what it was going to be like to be used by God. There I am yesterday, all decked out with my fur, my hair all done up in curls, my matching purse, but none of that really matters when your being used by God. It didn't matter HOW GOOD I looked yesterday, when it was all said and done, I'm NOTHING more than a little girl's pee rag!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
The truth about being used by God is that its really a lot of sweat, tears, dirt, aggravation AND HARD WORK! At 13, no one ever told me about the smells I would be smelling in a church van. They never told me about the fights I would be breaking up on drives to and from church. They never told me about the parents that would be asking me to buy the baby milk or to pay bills or to borrow money or to watch their kids or pick their kids up from childcare so they wouldn't be taken away by CPS. They never told me about the chaos, the confusion, the drama of it all. They never told me about the heart break it might cause me and the tears I would cry weeping over souls I spent so much time working with that ended up walking away from God.
ANNNNND they most certainly NEVER told me I might end up a pee rag. AHAHAHA!!! :)
And yet, despite all my 13-year-old misconceptions of what it was going to be like to be used of God, my desire to be used of God is even stronger NOW at 31 then it was then. I still want to be ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE that God uses. Oh to see God transform lives through me, to see God save souls through me, to know that another person is in heaven, because I was a vessel, a tool in God's hands. To tell someone about Jesus and his love, I STILL WANT IT!!! Its STILL MY DESIRE!!!
My heart is still singing the same song I was singing at 13,
♪If you can use anything Lord, you can use ME... ♫
♪♪If you can use anything Lord,
YOU CAN USE ME! ♫♪♪
♥Mary Frances :)