(Written By Anonymous Writer)
*This article below was NOT written by Classic Mary Moments!!! It was written by a young lady that did a guest writing for this blog! She felt she had something that would be helpful to many hurting people, however she did not want her name attached to it! She just prays that it will be a blessing to those that need it!!! .
I don't get it said my friend, WHY do you like him so much! I mean, its like your stuck on him! I don't even see you with him. I'm like, well I mean, I think he's a really good guy. My friend said, I'm NOT saying he isn't a good guy, I just don't think he would be GOOD FOR YOU!!! I don't think he would appreciate you for the person that you are. I had just had almost this same exact conversation with another friend recently. I don't think he would be good for you! I don't think he would appreciate the things that make you, YOU!!!
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After getting off the phone with my friend, I started thinking about it, WHY do I like this guy sooooo much? I was trying to place my finger on it, I mean he wasn't THAT good looking, he wasn't THAT amazing, sure he was fun, could make me laugh, love God, SURE he was a great guy, BUT what was it that I was sooooo STUCK on him for? I kept thinking about it, its just that he has SUCH a NICE DAD... did I think in some way that, meant HE would be a good husband, because he had a nice dad???
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I was sitting there and all of the sudden it HIT me! I wanted a DAD! I realized that subconciousley, every time I started considering a guy, one of the first things I would find out about is his dad. Was he in church? Was he nice? Loving? THAT was exactley WHY I was so stuck on this guy, I wanted a father. In the back of my mind I was thinking, TO HAVE A DAD LIKE THAT....I didn't care about this guy's mother, I'm sure she was a wonderful woman as well, it didn't really matter to me. I wasn't looking for a mom! I don't need a mommy! I have the most amazing mother in the whole entire world. There is NO part of me that feels that needs to be fulfilled. Oh BUT
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I was sitting in the rocking chair of our living room all alone in our home when this realization hit me. I just couldn't believe it. I was 29-years-old and I was still looking for a daddy. I can't remember one time in all my adult years ever once thinking about this. I've traveled all over the world, I live a very active life, I have friends galore, i'm involved in the work of God, i've accomplished many things in my life, yet somewhere deep inside me, past the laughter, past the joy, past the bubbling words, there was still a little girl looking for her father. I couldn't stop the tears from falling, as locked up sobs of a little girl began to flow out of my heart that day as this revelation hit me,
Where's my daddy?
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As a little girl, I was a total daddy's girl. My daddy was my favorite! I remember he would let me stand on his feet and I would hug him tightly as we walk together. He was always saying funny things that would make me laugh. He would play games with us kids and tickle us till we couldn't breath. At church I would always pray with my daddy while seeking for the Holy Ghost! Sometimes he would take us for walks out in the desert and show us all kinds of cool things, Oh how I loved my daddy!
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Then something began to happen. Something began to change. It was slowly at first and I refused to believe it, but still it happened. Something came and took away my daddy. Addictions stole my daddy from me! Alcohol stole my daddy from me! Guilt and failure stole my daddy from me! Drugs stole my daddy from me! Sin stole my daddy from me. Bad choices stole my daddy from me!
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
The youngest of us three older children, I hung on the longest, my little brother's never did get to see what he was because daddy was already gone by the time they were born. I remember the first time I found out something my dad was doing that was wrong, I was laying on the couch in our living room and I felt this fear in my stomach, how could daddy go to heaven if he was doing this? Perhaps it was simply because I was younger and more innocent and naive and by nature a more gullible person, but I just didn't want to believe that my daddy, my hero in life was anything other than PERFECT! "Your the only would that still says I love you to me Mary." Oh how I clung to what I thought he was, but somewhere between riding in the car with him drunk, being with him when he was arrested for stealing and him throwing his dinner plate of food on the ground, I finally began to realize that I had indeed lost my daddy.
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
Even tho my father never PHYSICALLY left our home and for the most part he always provided for our family, I basically grew up without a father figure in my life. He was THERE but he wasn't really there! Just the shell of my daddy was left with me my growing up years. He slept, he ate, he worked, but most of the time he just slept. Sleeping was his escape. Sleeping was his way of zoning out the gullt and shame. Promise after promise was broken till one day I just stopped hoping it was real this time. So I didn't have a daddy, who cares, who needs a daddy anyways. I had a mommy, who needs a daddy's love when they have the most amazing mom in the whole entire world?! Oh buuuuuut still my heart ached...
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
No matter how much I tried not to care, I CARED!!! The first time in my life that I ever cried over a song was in my teen years when I heard the song Bro. Abbott wrote called, Daddy's Girll! I cried not because of knowing that feeling of leaving your father one day for your groom, but because I knew that, that song wouldn't be in my wedding! I used to be so jealous of my pastor's daughter, Oh to have a dad LIKE THAT!!! To crawl up into your daddy's lap! Often I would hear the words from people, "At least your dad is still there! Your dad never left you all! Look at so and so, their dad LEFT them. Your dad NEVER left you all!" And I would just think, but you don't know what its like to have someone in your house that is practically a stranger to you. You have no idea what its like to remember the way things used to be and for your daddy to be stolen from you.
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
Somewhere along the way I just grew up and moved on. I stopped thinking about it! As an adult my dad calmed down, mellowed out and changed in many ways from the way he was when I was a child. Altho he has not made his way back to God and altho we do not in any way have a close relationship, I love my dad! I've forgiven him! I know that he was just fighting his own past and his own hurt as a child. As an adult I never felt bitterness or anger towards him for the way things were as a child. That is WHY I was shocked when I realized at 29 years old that I was STILL LOOKING FOR A DADDY!!! That there was this part of me that was still saying,
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
I came to the realization that even though I had forgiven, even though there wasn't bitterness, even though there wasn't anger, there was still a painful longing. You can forgive, but you can NEVER replace what you lost as a little girl. There is no way we can ever go back and change the past.Somewhere locked inside a vivacious, fun-loving, bubbly, joyful hearted young lady, that thought THE ONLY thing she was missing in her life was a husband, there was a little girl that could care less about a husband, because ALL SHE WANTED was what every little girl wants, A DADDY!!!
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
No matter how much you forgive and forget, there is STILL a little girl that lost her daddy. And as I sat there sobbing in our rocking chair I began to pray and ask God to heal this hurt that is inside of me. God I didn't even know this hurt, this pain was there inside of me. It wasn't long before God began to show me something. He showed me how HE has loved me and how HE has taken the place of anything that I ever lost as a child! Because when I didn't have an earthly father to crawl into his lap, Jesus let me crawl into his lap. Then he began to show me how as a young woman he has stepped in and been there to give me wisdom and to guide to me in relationships. He showed me that he was there just like an earthly father protecting me. He was keeping me from marrying the wrong person. Just like a good father will say a young man wasn't good enough for his daughter, OH how many times he showed me that he done that for me. I've always been right here my child, your daddy, protecting you, watching out for you. God very specifically began to point out specific incidents in my life where he had been looking out for me. All along it was HIM! It was MY DADDY!!!
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I began to cry some more as I thanked God for being that daddy to me. Thank God for showing me his love and pointing out his protection for me. I realized that I didn't need to go into marriage to try and get the father I never had as a little girl, I HAVE FATHER!!!! My friends, we can NOT go into marriage thinking and expecting MARRIAGE to make up for the things that we have lost in our lives. So often people think that getting married will get them the family they never had.
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That is NOT what marriage is for, that is not what its about. It doesn't matter what you have lost in your life, a father, a mother, siblings, whole entire families, MARRIAGE can NEVER replace the things that you lost! Yes, you can get married and raise up YOUR OWN Godly family, but this is something new and it can't replace anything that you have ever lost as a child. "And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:" (Colossians 2:10) Only JESUS! Only JESUS can be whatever you have been missing in your life.
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We can't go into marriage with the expectation of those things being replaced. We are placing unfair burdens on our spouse if we do that! Jesus is the ONLY one that said he would be whatever you need. He said that he would be a father and a mother."When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." (Psalms 27:10)
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We can't go into marriage with the expectation of those things being replaced. We are placing unfair burdens on our spouse if we do that! Jesus is the ONLY one that said he would be whatever you need. He said that he would be a father and a mother."When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." (Psalms 27:10)
Is your heart saying, Where's my daddy??? Where's my mommy? Where's my family? Have you lost someone? No matter how its happened, through divorce, death, abandonment or you never even knew them, ask Jesus to heal you of what was taken away. Ask Jesus to fill that longing in your heart. He is right there, he is just waiting for you to ask him. Maybe your the only one and sometimes you feel all alone, just tell God what it is that your missing, he'll be that to you! Sometimes He comes to us through the family of God, you have to all yourself to open up to them.
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This past Conqueror's Conference, one of preaching messsages got a hold of my heart so strongly. I was up at the alter just pouring my heart out to God with everything that was within me. I just really felt so strongly like I needed someone to really pray with me. When I opened my eyes I saw one of my friends just right by me, she was also praying just as hard and pouring out her heart to God, and there praying right with her was her father and when I saw that it just felt like a punch in the stomach, I felt that longing in my heart all over again. I'm 30 now, buuuuuuuuut I couldn't help wondering,
WHERE'S MY DADDY???
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I put my head back down on the alter as more hot tears began to pour out of my eyes. Where's my daddy! I want a daddy! I still want a daddy!!! And then MY DADDY was there, he wrapped his arms around me and began to pray with me just like this girl's daddy was praying with her. My daddy, he came in the form of a Godly woman of God that must have felt compelled by God to come pray with me. Her tears fell onto my cheek and mixed together with mine as she helped me to pray. My daddy knew once again, JUST exactly what I needed.
WHERE's MY DADDY???
I can hear God saying, I'm right here Mary! I'm right here!!! I'll never leave you, I'll never forsake you! I'm just a whisper, I'm just a prayer away, just reach out and touch me, just call on my name and i'm there!!! Jesus, my daddy, the best father any girl could ever ask for
"A father of the fatherless..."
(Psalm 68:5)
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(Written By Anonymous Writer)
.*This article below was NOT written by Classic Mary Moments!!! It was written by a young lady that did a guest writing for this blog! She felt she had something that would be helpful to many hurting people, however she did not want her name attached to it! She just prays that it will be a blessing to those that need it!!!
.♥Mary Frances :)
