Several years ago, a friend told me in conversation that I should always keep a strategy on hand to keep myself from getting DESPERATE...I'm sure I had a snarky, smart alecky comment at the time, but as the years go by and my singleness is still intact, its like, Hmmmm GOOD IDEA!!! Sooooo I came up with one! How would you all like to know my Desperation EMERGENCY plan?!?!!? Today I want to talk about how we can keep ourselves from getting desperate. Previousley, we talked about DESIRE and the results of where desire can take us. Today I would like to talk about what to do with our desire while we are waiting that will keep us from falling into the mode of desperation. As I've already said, The thing about DESIRE is that it can be used in a good or bad way. Your desire, even for a GOOD THING, such as marriage, can pull you toward God or away from God. Soooo what she we do with our desire???
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Don't base the actions of what you do with your desires on FEELINGS. Feelings are NOT concrete. Feelings are NOT FACTS!!! Feelings are an unsteady foundation. I can say I FEEL happy and no one can argue with me weather or not thats true, its the way I FEEL!!! However, If I tell you all that 2+2= 3, there are some mathmeticians out there that are ready to prove me wrong. And they will probably, without EVEN using a calculator will say, uh NO Mary, 2+2=4!!! Annnnnnnnnd I can try to argue that with them, I can say, WEEEEEEELLLL...I FEEL like its 3!!! And they would say, No Mary, Annnnnnnnd I could just be like, well you know, I know it may not seem right to YOU, buuuuuut I juuuuuust have a FEELING that its 3!!! But just because I feel like its 3 doesn't mean that my FEELING is RIGHT!!! It may, FEEL RIGHT, buuuuuuuut the reality is that I'M WRONG!!! And those mathemeticans have ways, I don't know how they could do it, buuuuuut they have ways TO PROVE TO ME, that 2+2=4!!! Its A FACT!!! It does NOT matter how I may FEEL!!! We can't RELY on our FEELINGS!!!
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You have no idea HOW many times i've called up my friend Anali, annnnnd out of all my friends, ANALI is the MOST pragmatic and practical friend i've got!!! I'll call her and i'll be like DUUUUUUUUUDE ANALI!!! I soooooo FEEL like this guy is THE ONE!!! Annnnnd she just laughs and says, here we go AGAIN!!! Annnnnnd I'm like, NO REALLY ANALI!!! This time its DIFFERENT!!! I JUST have a FEELING!!! And usually, being the realist that Anali is, she doesn't hesitate to lay out the FACTS of the matter for me. She's like my reality check, that hits my cRaZy brain with a brick. And its fine, we get along great cuz I just take the brick and throw it over my shoulder and it goes into the pile of reality check bricks, in which I think, Ooooo that piles gettin soooo high, one of these days my knight in shining armour is going to come along and use all those bricks to build me a castle!!! Awwwwww!!! Sooooooo ROMANTIC!!! *sigh!!! ;)
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ANd some of my close friends and family like to joke around about MARY'S WORLD!!! They'll say the car is marroon and I'll say weeeeeellll it looks like black to me and everyone else is just lookin at me like, NOOOO annnnnd i'm like, you just gotta see it from where I'm standing and someone will joke, YEAH, you've gotta STEP INTO MARY'S WORLD!!! AHAHAHA!!! I am a DREAMER!!! I have quite the imagination and I often get quite lost in it!!! And it doesn't take much for me to get lost in it, because I get LOST very easily in REALITY too!!! The way my mind works, i can take the normal and mundane and make it seem like it was the most exhilerating, exciting moment ever. When most girls see a guy and he smiles at her, thats all it is, he just SMILED at her....buuuuut ME...
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I'm like telling the girls, annnnnnnnd we were just standing there, I know he saw me, he looked my way, annnnd THEN our eyes connected, they locked together and even though it was a crowded room, its like it was JUST US (And a imaginary chaperone;) and we held each others gaze from across the room. Annnnnnd even though we were looking at each other I wasn't sure of how he REALLY FELT about me being there at that very moment. I FELT like Esther in the King's royal chamber waiting for his aprovoal of her presence being there... buuuuuut THEN he SMILED at me AND when he smiled at me, it was like when the king held out the royal sceptor to Esther and I KNEW... I KNEW his smile meant that he had accepted, and in fact DELIGHTED, in my presence being there!!! YES!!! That is how it is in MARY'S WORLD!!! Its a FUNNNN place to be!!!
I jokingly told my friends at church, that WHEN my future husband proposes to me, I'm going to look him right in the eye and say, you know, I have to be honest with you, this is NOT the first time I have ever been proposed to. In fact, in my lifetime I have been proposed to many, many, MANY times, buuuuuut what makes YOUR PROPOSAL different from all the other proposals I've ever had, is that THIS TIME...10 second pause...drum roll...THIS TIME... its REAL!!!
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And singles, THAT is what we need to base what we do with our desires, NOT on our feelings, buuuuut on what is REAL!!! If there is anything that we have that is real it is THE WORD OF GOD!!! "The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever." (Isaiah 40:8) Its the one thing on this earth we have that will NEVER FALTER!!! We've got to take our desires to The Word Of God and see if they line up with what God has to say. If they contradict you can just take that desire and THROW IT IN THE TRASH!!!Emotions are based on temporary circumstances, But the Bible is CONCRETE!!!
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I have a friend that is not in church that at the time had just recently got married. One day she was telling me that her ex boyfriend, whom she has to keep in touch with because they have children together, had just recently called her and told her that he still loved her and he wanted to get back together with her. She said, I didn't know what to do. I thought in my heart that maybe I had done the wrong thing by marrying the man that I married. She said I felt like in my heart there was a part of me that would always love him because we have children together, maybe I should go back to him??? She said but then I was like NO, I love my husband, but I don't know maybe it was the wrong thing to marry him??? And she was waiting to hear what I thought and I told her, you can't make that decision based on how you may FEEL about your ex, you make your decision based on what is REAL!!! You made a vow before God to another man, thats REALITY! What does THE BIBLE say about marriage??? Marriage vows are NOT kept based on how we FEEL!!! They are kept based on, NO MATTER HOW I AM FEELING!!! I told her NOT to base her decision on feelings.
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We can't take our desires to our heart. We've all heard it said before, you say, how do I know its right?!?! And they say, "Just listen to your heart!" OR "Just follow your heart!" HOWEVER, The Bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked : who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) Feelings and emotions come from our heart, but the Bible clearly states that the heart is deceitful. That means that our own heart will TRICK US!!! I can't believe it!!! THAT MY OWN HEART WOULD DO THAT TO ME!!! Its a PART OF ME, yet it is still willing to to turn against me, to TRICK ME!!! Why that dirty, wrotten, double crossing, back stabbing HEART!!! How DARE IT??? I should get rid of the thing, BUUUUT I can't, cuz its ME!!! Don't listen to your heart, because your heart will LIE TO YOU!!! In fact the word of God says you don't even KNOW IT!!! You don't even KNOW YOUR OWN HEART!!! Don't follow your heart because it will LEAD YOU IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!!! "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:" (Matthew 15:19) DO NOT TRUST YOUR HEART!!!
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Sooooo if our own heart, that is a part of us, is willing to turn against us and decieve us, WHAT DO WE DO WITH IT??? The Bible says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." (Proverbs 4:23) We've got to conceal our heart! We've got to restrain our own heart from taking over our desires. We've got to carefully keep an eye on our heart! We've got to watch our hearts and make sure it doesn't get out of line with the word of God and we've got to do it DILLIGENTLY!!! That means we've got to do it continually, without delay and we can't be slothful about it, we can't be negilent about it, we've got to be attentive to our heart, because if we don't it will lead us to sin
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Don't take your desires to people!!! Yes, seek council from your pastor, parents, etc... BUUUUUT don't expect PEOPLE to be able to MAKE your desires to come to pass. In the Bible, Hannah desired a baby! More than anything else in this world she wanted to have her own child. She wanted it sooooo BADLY ! She expressed what she felt to her husband, EXPECTING him to be able to give to her what she desired sooooo much! Annnnnd This was her husband's response; "Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?" [Typical man response! Baha!;] (1 Samuel 1:8) So it didn't take Hannah very long to realize that her husband wasn't going to be able to give her the desire of her heart. Hannah realized that taking her desire to her husband was the wrong place to take it and by verse ten she took it to THE LORD!!! "And she... prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore." ( 1 Samuel 1:10) And we ALL know that God answered her prayers. Don't expect people, your family or your friends to be able to make your desire to come to pass. You'll frustrate them because they're only human and they don't have the ability to fulfil it!!!
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We've got to take our desires to God! Your desire to get married comes from God...don't take it to the world...TAKE it to the one that it came from. The world doesn't care about your God given desire!!! Why do you think you even want to get married so badly in the first place? Because MARRIAGE is a GODLY DESIRE!!! You don't see worldly people desiring marriage the way Apostolic people do. Sure they're looking for dates, for relationships, they'll live together FIRST and if they still FEEL the same way about the person after they've acheived they're college and career goals, THEN they'll eventually get married. THATS THE WORLD!!! You've got to take your desire to God!!! God is the ONLY ONE that can fulfil your desire and make your dream come to pass!!! Take it to JESUS!!!
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We can keep our desire for marriage from turning into desperation by using it to seek God. There are days my desire is so strong I'm like Jacob wrestling with the angel for a blessing and Hannah asking for a baby!!! My desire for a husband right now is drawing me closer to God. You can use your desire to get closer to God. Decide in your heart today, My desire is going to be the cause of positive change. Ten years ago, I took my desire for marriage to Jesus and then I did it again five years ago and I did two years ago and I did it one year ago, and I did it six months ago and I did it one month ago, and I did it a week ago and I did it again YESTURDAY annnnnd GUESS WHAT??? I've got to do it again TODAY!!! We've got to DAILY take our desire to God in prayer!!! Thats HOW we keep from getting DESPERATE!!!! We take it to GOD EVERYDAY!!!
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What would we do if there was a fire in our house??? We all learned it in elemantry school, STOP, DROP AND ROLL!!! Thats the EMERGENCY PLAN that they teach us as children. So what do we do as adults to keep ourselves from getting desperate???
The Desperation EMERGENCY plan is to:
STOP, DROP...
READ YOUR BIBLE...
AND PRAY!!!
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"Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto
according to thy word. With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy
commandments. Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes. With my lips have I declared all the judgments of thy mouth. I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches. I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways. I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word." (Psalm 119:9-16)
.♥Mary Frances :)
