Last Monday night at Bible College weeeelll...I kinda went in a FRUSTRATED mood!!! LOL!!! I was just FRUSTRATED about singleness!!! I know, i know I know, I'm writing this series buuuuut yeah...I'm STILL human and I STILL have my moments!!! Anali was trying to give me advice that was just ANNOYING me...HAHA!!! I called her a mean Mexican and she was like, "I'm not mean, I'm just SPICY!!!" I was like,YEAH, like a habenero that fell into a bonfire!!!" (We can joke like that!) Soooo anywayz, Bible College, or I guess I should say GOD'S WORD...was JUST what I needed to make me feel better!!!
Because thats what Bro. Garrett's class was about, You and Your Bible!!! Annnnnd in class Bro. Garrett brought out A LOT of different scriptures and he was just talking and emphasizing to us the AWESOMENESS of the word of God!!! ANNNND he started off with reading to us Psalm 19:7 The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.THEN when he got to Psalm 19:10 More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb." He stopped for a moment after he read us that scripture and told us that when he Prays, he'll just tell God, "God, your BETTER than gold!" When he said that. it just STOOD out to me!!! I was like OH thats such a cool thing to pray!!! I marked it on my notes and decided RIGHT then and there, I'm gonna start saying that when I pray!!!
And THEN as soon as I thought I'm going to start saying that when i pray, I felt God kind of impressed on my mind, How about you tell me i'm BETTER THAN A HUSBAND!!! I was like whaaaaaat??? Like of course your better than a HUSBAND!!! God you know, that I KNOW that YOU SOOOO ARE!!! Buuuuut I just felt like he impressed on my mind again...WELL THEN SAY IT!!!
I was like okaaaaay i'm soooo going to do that...THE NEXT TIME I pray!!! Cuz I really felt like God wanted me to NOT just say it in my mind but to like AUDIBLY tell him out loud...annnnnd I didn't think that I should just JUMP UP in the middle of class and yell out...GOD YOUR BETTER THAN A HUSBAND!!! BAhahahaha!!! it might been kinda funny tho!!!
So the next morning when I was praying I did it!!! I told God, audibly OUT LOUD, God your BETTER THAN A HUSBAND!!! Annnnnd You know what??? It felt sooooo GOOOOOOD to say that!!! I just started crying immediatley thinking and realizing the GOOOOODNESS of God!!! I just could't stop the tears from falling as I began to think about WHERE I would be without God!!! I can't EVEN IMAGINE!!!
I got to thinking about how WITHOUT GOD, I probabley wouldn't even be the kind of girl that would WANT a husband!!! I have family that is sooooo messed up!!! Family members on drugs, Alcoholism, depression... A cousin that got pregnant for the first time when she was 12. Thats WHY I have such a LOVE for these African girls...their lives are soooo MESSED up!!! Their purity is gone sooooo EARLY...even as children!!! These young teens having babies, people have told me, I don't know how you can just go to them, without really even looking down on them, without condeming them, it would be ONE thing if you had come from the world, or if you had backslid, but your NOT!!! Annnnd I've always said that I don't know, I just feel a burden and LOVE for them!!!
Buuuuut I was thinking about it and I think that a part of is that I realize, that IF it were NOT for God, if it were NOT for his LOVE, HIS MERCY, HIS GRACE, HIS HAND REACHING DOWN and pulling me out as a little girl, I WOULD BE RIGHT THERE!!! I would be JUST LIKE THEM!!! I don't think I'm better than them...I JUST KNOW THE GOODNESS OF GOD!!! I just kept crying and just kept saying it, Jesus your BETTER than a husband!!! You are better!!! SOOOOO MUCH BETTER!!!
I know it MAY seem kind of LAME when you think about it... like DUH Mary, of course God is BETTER than a husband...buuuuut its NOT just that!!! Its like taking your biggest hope, desire, aspiration and dream in life and telling Him, "God your STILL better!" Your gold might not be the SAME as my gold!!! Maybe your gold is a having a baby, a career, a certain vehicle, money, a house, traveling to far off places, a coach purse...lol...heeeey we all have DIFFERENT things that are the GOLD in our lives...Obviousley we ALL know what MINE IS!!! ;)
Buuuuut I encourage you SINGLE people that ARE longing for a spouse...EVERY time you start getting upset, EVERY TIME you start feeling FRUSTRATED, CONFUSED, DOWN...STOP...take a moment and just acknowledge God!!! Think about where YOU would be without him THEN...Just tell him, GOD YOUR BETTER!!! JESUS YOUR BETTER!!! I've been doing it annnnnd it REALLY helps!!! It doesn't MEAN that you STOP wanting a spouse...that God takes away your desire...TRUST ME...
I STILL WANT A HUSBAND!!!
I just know, that I know, that I know, that I KNOW, that JESUS is BETTER!!! Ain't NO husband that could ever forgive me of my sins and save me from HELL!!! ONLY JESUS!!! I acknowlege that...JESUS IS BETTER THAN all my hopes, aspirations and dreams in this life!!!
"In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths."
♥Mary Frances :)