A speedy answer...

About a year or so ago, I was praying one morning and I guess you could say I was some what tired or had come to sort of dry moment in my prayer. I knew I needed to pray more so I pulled out my prayer journal and was looking through it, I found this prayer wheel that I have taped in my journal...

I'm not sure where I got it from...I think maybe the prayer class at Bible College...anyways, i was lookin at it like, okaaaaay what should I pray about NEXT??? Randomly, I looked at the forgiveness portion. Instantley, one of my old boyfriends came to mind. I was like, no, i've forgiven him, but then I was like, well Ok God, I think maybe there is a little part of me that needs to ACTUALLY tell him...I forgive you!!!

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I'm like, buuuuut thats soooo awkward! This guy is NOT a part of my life! i have No clue where he is and have NO DESIRE to try and find him...i'm like buuuuuuuut GOD, if YOU want me to forgive him all the way...just work it out! i leave it in your hands! Annnnnnd that my friends was the end of my prayer!!! NOTHING BIG!!!

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I got up and went on the rest of the day without thinking about my prayer to God to help me forgive!!! Later on that week, my big bro calls me, tellin me that my old boyfriend had contacted him and was asking about me. I was like, WHAT?! NO WAY! Do NOT tell him anything about me!!! I was soooooo angered by it! That part of my life was supposed to be CLOSED!!! I didn't want it to be opened again! Generally speaking, i'm a pretty easygoing-whatever-go-with-the-flow-I'll-talk-to-anyone kind of person, buuuuut I was very adamant with my brother, DO NO TELL HIM ANYTHING ABOUT ME...I do NOT want to talk to him!!!

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Just for the record people, its NOT like this old boyfriend was like a horrible person or anything, he totally isn't like that!  I just didn't want to open up that part of my life again...I had moved on! I had gotten beyond the broken heart and KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were NOT right for each other and I knew  that I was living my life IN THE WILL OF GOD!!!

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However,  i've learned that sometimes, to completely close a part of your life, you have to open it up again, because sometimes there is something that needs to be removed!!! The door can't close all the way, IF there is JUNK in the way!!! Annnnnd God reminded me of my short-very-brief prayer to help me FORGIVE...and i was like okaaaaaaay God...I'm just gonna trust in you about this...if you really think I need to forgive...just WORK it out!!!

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Weeeeellll about a week or soooooo later, I had already prayed in the morning, BUUUUT at about mid-morningish when I was just going about my daily household duties, I felt a very strong burden to pray...Like I just knew that I NEEDED to pray! So I went into our living room and prayed! It wasn't for a HUGE amount  of time, just maybe like 10-15 minutes, till the burden lifted! As I was getting up, I went to my computer and was going to check my email, and before I even checked my email, I thought in my mind, I think he emailed me! Then I opened my email and sure enough, he had indeed emailed me!

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Having Just prayed, I felt at total and complete peace! I calmly read the email,  He was asking me for my forgivness for causing me hurt! and instead of freaking out, calling all my friends, family, and the news station...haha...I just sat there and hit reply and wrote him back! AND Yes, I can't remember my exact wording, buuuuut I told him that I forgave him! Annnnd it felt sooooo good to be able to do that!!! I KNEW that God had prepared me for this very moment and I KNEW that this part of my life was finally and officially closed!!! It was a GOOD feeling!!!

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Buuuuuuut later on I was thinking about it and I was like, MAN GOD, you really and I mean REALLY answered that prayer REALLY quickley!!! I mean, I hardly even uttered a whispered half-hearted prayer that you would help me FORGIVE and BAM...like a week later it happens!!! MEANWHILE...

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MEANWHILE...I've been PRAYING and PRAYING and PRAYING and PRAYING...like HARD core PRAYING about a HUSBAND for like over ten years and it seems like your just all like, Doot-a-doo...takin your time!!! Buuuuuut I say, God help me FORgIVE and your like RIGHT ON THAT...practically before I even ask!!! Why God???

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Annnnnnd I felt like God just impressed on me, BECAUSE, forgivness is MORE IMPORTANT than a husband!!! Forgiveness is a matter of the heart! Forgiveness is a NEED!!! Unforgiveness could cause me to fall and keep me out of heaven. Forgiveness is a weightier matter!!! Forgivness is MORE important that all of our wants, dreams and aspirations in life!!! 
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God commands that we forgive!!!! The Bible says that God will NOT forgive us if we won't forgive others!!! If your having trouble with forgiving someone, just ask Jesus to help you! Trust me, HE WILL!!! He wants to help you...just ask him!!!  We NEED to forgive people!!! Don't hold on to hurt and grudges!!! Its NOT worth losing your salvation over!!! Its NOT worth missing heaven!!! FORGIVE!!!

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"Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." (Matthew 5:23-24)

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♥Mary Frances :)