On June 30th, the last day of Old Time Camp meeting, I had a really serious talk with my big sis!!! I said that I had thought it out and that we all knew it was right for her to adopt a little girl...However, I had decided that I was NOT going to get any children before I was married...I just wasn't ready...I couldn't afford it...its to much responsibility...it would interfere with my socializin...LOL..etc..etc..and my sis was like, well thats fine if you feel your not ready...and she was like REALLLLY nice about it...totally didn't make me feel guilty or ANYTHING...and that was the end of THE STORY...
Or soooooooooo I THOUGHT!!! Aparently, God had different plans...because NOT EVEN two full weeks later...I'm a MOM!!!! I got a phone call from the mother of one of my Sunday School kids last Friday askin me to help her out with her daughter for a YEAR!!! The first time I saw this little girl it was the first time we ever even did outreach at this apartment complex, this little girl was two years old, in a diaper, wondering around the parkin lot...so I've know her from THE VERY beginning...BUT still I was VERRRRRY surprised with the phone call...but at the same time I wasn't!!!
I know that may seem really weird, but earlier in the week I had been prayin sooooo hard. I shut myself in the closet...I was like pouring my heart out...my face buried in the rug...tears sheddin...and I was talkin to God and I just said God I know you have a work for me to do but I don't know what it is...BUT I just want to do something for you!!! Like...that sincerely is AND has been the desire of my heart since I was 13 years old. "If you can use anything Lord, You can USE ME!!!"
WELLLLL you just NEVER know what God is going to do next...when you tell God to USE YOU and you sincerely MEAN it....GET READY cuz HE IS GOING TO USE YOU!!!!!!
So when I got the phone call later in the week... I was SHOCKED...but then after thinkin about it for like 5 minutes I was like...WELL I guess that was just YOU God...Answering my prayer.
People said pray about it...and I did...but at the same time...I just didn't really have to...because I already had been before I even knew about it!!! I know some people were a little surprised that I would willingly take on this task and I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little scared...being single and all...and I KNOW that in the end I'm gonna get REALLLLY attached and I told God, I'm going into this, READY to get a broken heart...BUT...I have peace because I know its right...I know God's hand is in this.
I don't know how long its gonna last, but I've made up my mind that I'm going to teach her EVERYTHING I possibly can about Jesus!!! And I'm gonna love this little girl...and when I LOVE its NOT half-heartledly...I'm gonna LOVE her with all my heart!!! Weather its for a week, a month, a year or FOREVER...
I'm gonna be THE BEST mommy I can possibley be!!!
(Which we ALL KNOW will be a pretty AMAZINGLY awesome MOMMMY...I mean, I'm almost a little jealous of her havin me for a mom...EXCEPT... my mom IS the best MOMMMY everrrrr...soooo thats the ONLY reason why i'm NOT jealous of her!!! ;)