OMW!!! I just did something that I don't believe I have ever in my life done before!!! I was soooooo SCARED!!! I was SCEAMING and My heart is racing and I feel sick and faint...my mom said to eat something, BUT I CAN"T cause then I'll throw up too!!!
Well it started out as a "Normal" day for me! Dragged myself outta bed at 6 am. Drank some coffee and said by to my sister as she left for work. Then half asleep I went into the living room/computer room for prayer! NOW I must admit to you all that prayer was NOT very spiritual this morning!!! It consisted basically of me saying Oh God, I love you, help me to keep my eyes open and I'm sorry I went to bed so late last night cause now I can't even stay awake to talk to you! Felt like a total loser BUT after 20 minutes I decided to get my niece up and ready for school!
Soooooo i go wake her up and come back up to the front of the house ALL of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see MOVEMENT in the other room...OMW!!! It was a ROACH!!!!!! AND MY BIG SIS, THE roach killer was at WORK!!! I was like WHAT IN THE WORLD am I supposed to do?!?! I'm just the little sis! I bake,cook, wear crazy flowers AND I BLOG but I don't know HOW KILL A ROACH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
So I was gonna just let it go BUT NO!!!! So I run and get the Lysol and run back!!! BUT its GONE!!! Where is it?!?! I search around and OMW I see it crawling across the ground where I had been sittin in my pathetic little prayer meeting to minutes earlier!!! NOW don't any of ya all EVEN TRY to tell me that it was NOT God, that my prayer meeting ended EARLY today!!! Cause BELIEVE me, ya all do NOT even want to know what would have happened, had it crawled ON ME!!!
Sooooo I get the lysol and I am screaming and spraying it and I am like MJ GET THE FREEZE!!! GET THE FREEZE!!! GET THE FREEZE!!! So she comes back with a full bottle of it and I a spray it for like two minutes straight. It stops moving and just dies! i am like OH GLORY! AND I am soooo proud of myself and MJ is like sooo proud of me and we are just like sitting in there shaking and huggin each other and then all of the sudden I REMEMBER OMW!!! I GOTTA DO YOUR hair!!! The bus is gonna be here any second!!!
So I do her hair and the bus pulls up and MJ grabs her back pack and like RIGHT before she goes out the door she glances at the roach and is like MARY ITS MOVING!!! Its trying to get a way! I am just like, yeah right, whatever...HURRY GET ON THE BUS!!! Her eyes are just like all wide and she is yellin at me as she is gettin on, check on it! Check on it!!! Soooooo I go back and look and OMW!!! It is moving!!!! The NASTY lil thing is totally trying to get a way!!! I was like OH NO YOUR NOT SUCKA!!!
So I grab the Freeze and the lysol AND the foam scrub toilet cleaner and just start spraying all kinds of junk on it for like five minutes straight! The whole time I'm just like screaming and yellin at it! Die, LOSER! DIE!!! DIE!! DIE!!! MORON!!! IDIOT!!! CREEP!!! DIE!!! Finally I'm like okaaaaaaay now its DEAD!!! Five minutes later its MOVING again!!! I am like WHAT?!??! I am like sooooo freaked out at this point!!! I spray it with the FREEZE until it is empty? Two minutes later it is MOVING AGAIN!!! Its like the roach that will NOT DIE!!! Soooooooooooooooo....
I CALL JAC!!! Cause I am like, okaaaaaaay I need the support of my BFF right now!!! ANd as I talk to her I am spraying the roach the WHOLE time with the lysol!!! I am like SCREAMING and gagging and she is like laughing at me and then I am like OMW the lysol bottle is empty now and its STILL moving!!! Sooooo she is like OKAAAAY I am coming over!!! Cuz she is like SOOO brave she kills scorpians ALL the time at the church and the other day she woke up and one was CRAWLING ACROSS HER FACE!!! Soooooo she is like okaaaaay but I want you to know that ROACHES are different than scorpians and I am like I KNOW!!! AND we both agreed that we would RATHER be stung by a scorpian than to have a roach touch us!!!!!!
Well ALL of the sudden I had this idea that I thought would work cuz I was running outta ideas and we were curretly out of FREEZE, RAVE AND LYSOL in our house hold!!! So jac comes clunkin up in her "Car" and i come running out to greet her!!! Okaaaaaaaaay this is the plan...OUR POOL MAN IS HERE!!! I was thinking you could GO ASK HIM TO KILL THE ROACH!!! So she is like okaaaaaay well your coming with me! Soooooo we go out and there is our pool man, cleaning the pool! So we just kinda stand there, silently, smiling at him like IDIOTS until he looks up at us! Jac is like um, we have a favor to ask you...he is like sure! Sooooo we tell him about the roach and he comes in and I like grab the paper towels and bring him over to the roach.
He bends down real close, looks at it and is like, Ummmmmmmm...IT IS DEAD!! Sooooo I just kinda SWEETLY hand him the paper towels!!! Lol! He just kinda shrugs picks it up in ONE paper towel, and brings it to the trash!!! I was like OMW!!!! I love you! And Jac is like, I bet you don't get asked to do THIS before!!! He is like, ACTUALLY, i do!!! AHAHAHA!!! LOLOLOL!!! He was soooooooo our hero!!! And Jac was like saying something about him being cute and I was like DUDE!!! I don't even know what he looked like but as far as I am concerned, he coulda been the UGLIEST guy in the world, BUT TO me he is currrently THE HOTTEST!!! I mean SERIOUSLEY!!! I was sooooooo GREATFUL to him I was ready to get down on one knee and propose marriage!!! LOLOL!!! instead I just let him finish his job!!! HAHA!!! Which I am sure HE is probabley greatful for!!
Thank you POOL MAN!!! Thank you for helpin me! Thank you for being my angel! Thank you for being my hero!!! Thank you for being my knight in shining armor! Thank you for slaying this dragon!!!
I LOVE YOU POOL MAN!!!
I LOVE YOU POOL MAN!!!
I should make HIM
APOSTOLIC MALE MODEL
for this month!!!