Monday, March 29, 2010

Embarassing Mary Moments #34123

So I've always been pretty open about when I think I guy is cute. Probabley a little TOO open, but whatever, thats JUST ME!!! ;) So I had showed some pictures of guys I thought were cute to the little girl Ella I was a nanny for. She agreed they were VERY cute!!! So I taught her that whenever we see a cute guy, we would put our hand on our heart, dramatically swoon and say, "He's sooooooooooo handsome!" So whenever Ella saw a cute guy she would do this with me. Whatever, I didn't think ANYTHING of it! So one day her mom tells me that the Stanley Steemer guys were coming to steem-clean the carpets and couch and that I should just make sure I have everthing picked up from the floor for them. Then when they get there I should just keep the kids out of their way. So they get there, I bring them in and they are all about to get started with cleaning, I'm gathering the kids up about to guide them to the back of the house, when all of the sudden Ella turns to me with HER HAND ON HER HEART... "Mary! Aren't they SOOOOOOO HANDSOME?!" I just stood there with my mouth hanging open...(LIKE OMW! I can't believe this is happening to me!)...She is like, "Come on Mary, lets do our thing!" I was like Ummmmmmmmmm.....Lets GO POTTY!!! I think we all need to go to the potty! She is like, "BUT MARY!" I was like NOW!!! Cause, no offense to anyone that cleans carpets, BUT THERE WAS NO WAY I was gonna swoon over the ghetto Stanley Steemer guys!!! LOL
Another time I was at Walmart Supercenter with my sister and niece. When we got to the registers, my sister and I went our seperate ways. I checked out at the register right across from her and my niece. It was an elderly gentleman from the middle east area that rang up my two items, a magazine and a MOUNTAIN DEW. So while he rang up my items I just tried to be nice and courteous to him, just because thats the way I am! I mean, I'm NOT like MY MOM or JACQUI, where we're like exchanging life stories or nothing. Just little stuff like when he hands me my drink I smile and am like, "Oh thanks! I just gotta have MY mountain dew!" NO BIG DEAL!!! So he finishes my order, I pay, we say have a nice day, I walk over to my sister's register two feet away. End of story RIGHT?!?! WROOOOOOONG!!! I am standing their and my niece Mary Jo turns to me and raises her eyebrows, JUST LIKE I do to her when I'm teasin her! She is like, "I saw you MARY!" I'm like...SAW ME WHAT?! She raises her eyebrows some more, "Over THERE Mary, I saw you!!!" I'm like, "What? Paying for my stuff?!" She raises her eyebrows some more, "Talkin to THAT MAN!!!!"  I'm like trying to be casual and mature, "Oh yes that was my cashier MJ. He was ringing up my stuff. She raises her eyebrows some more, "Sooooooooo do you LIKE HIM?!" I'm just there like OMW!!! Cause I mean what do I say?! Then man is like RIGHT there, he can TOTALLY here us and I don't wanna be rude and mean, like OH NO he's NASTY! But I mean, I also don't want him to get the wrong idea...So I just try the whole silent-I-am-ignoring you thing! BUT one thing about sista MJ is that she don't let up...More eyebrow raising, "WELL Mary...DO YOU?! Doooooooo yooooooooooouuuuuuu LIKE HIM?!  So  I very calmly look at her and say, come on, Lets go potty! I start picking her up out of the cart..."But Mary, I DON'T HAVE TO GO POTTY!!!" Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!! HELP!!! LOL
So later on I am talkin about both of these incidents with my sister and she is like, "You know what?! Both of those incidents are YOUR OWN FAULT!!! That is what happens when you talk to FIVE AND SIX-YEAR OLDS about GUYS!!!" So I am like, yeah but, there not just anyone, there MY FRIENDS and I ALWAYS talk to ALL my friends about guys!!! My sister just looks at me then says, "Well then I guess thats what you get for being FRIENDS with five and six year olds!!!"
I'm thinkin I have a VERY interesting life ahead of me...